Forgiveness...WHY?
FORGIVENESS -The act of pardoning an offender; ceasing to feel resentment toward him/her because of his/her offense and giving up all claim to recompense.
BUT, what if...
We've all been there numerous times.
How many times do I forgive? According to the Good Book, Jesus told Peter, "Forgive up to 77 times."
Does that mean you can say to the offender, "Okay, you're on number seventy-six (76), don't push it?" No! The point of the that counsel was to forgive your brother (or sister), and don't stress over keeping account of the injury.
But it also doesn't mean you allow others to continue mistreating you seventy-six times either.
Where do you draw the fine line?
I wish I could give you the "text-book" or "politically correct answer." For that, I apologize. If it were that easy, life would be simple.
What you will find here is and interesting take on the subject of FORGIVENESS, as well as helpful advice...and maybe, my opinion.
Here's an interesting article I found in an Awake Magazine:
ANCIENT WISDOM FOR MODERN LIVING
"Our willingness to forgive does not mean that we approve of the wrong behavior or minimize the hurt that it has caused us. Rather, we simply decide to let go of resentment, even though we may have a legitimate “cause for complaint.”
When we harbor anger and resentment—and withhold forgiveness—we hurt ourselves. Such negative emotions can rob us of happiness, restrict our life, and make us miserable. They can also pose a serious health risk. A report in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology, by Dr. Yoichi Chida and Professor of Psychology Andrew Steptoe, concluded: “The current findings suggest a harmful association between anger and hostility and CHD [coronary heart disease].”
Yes, health-wise, this is good.
Again...Why should we forgive?
Forgiveness is for our own growth and happiness. When we hold on to hurt, pain, resentment, and anger it harms us far more than it harms the offender.
Forgiveness frees us to live in the present. Reliving the wrong that was done to us keeps us living in the past and missing today’s beauty.
Forgiveness allows us to move on without anger or contempt or seeking revenge. As Confucius said about revenge, "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." This applies as much to the spirit of anger behind the desire for revenge as much as to revenge itself. Even if you do not actively seek revenge, holding on to your anger brings you down.
Forgiveness lets us regain our personal power. Our anger, regret, hatred, or resentment towards someone means that we are giving up our power to that person. Envision a chain around your neck, held by the one who wronged you. Until you can forgive, you won’t break that chain and the person will still have an unhealthy hold on you.
Forgiveness brings you back to good physical and mental health. The systems of the body respond to negative emotions, affecting the immune system in ways that would blow your mind. Releasing those emotions is a good idea.
Forgiveness clears the cobwebs so that you can see the good again. When you forgive you will be able to see all the positive qualities in the person who hurt you—qualities that you loved once—and allows you to accept him or her fully, warts and all, and have a chance at a long-lasting, healthy relationship."
The Importance of Forgiveness~ by Betty Russel
How to forgive?
Betty explains...
"If you are in a current relationship that you want to heal and continue, a serious and loving discussion is in order." Here are a few suggestions...
Take your time to process your anger and hurt.
Tell him or her how you feel (use “I” statements). “I feel hurt/ betrayed/ afraid/ anxious/ grief-stricken etc.”
Explain that you are choosing to forgive.
If you are in a current relationship that you want to heal and continue, a serious and loving discussion is in order. Here are a few suggestions...
You can talk to a close friend to speak your forgiveness, or write it out in a journal.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. As difficult as this may be, trying to understand why he or she harmed you and your relationship is very important. (Understanding does not mean condoning, but is a step to forgiving.)
Forgive yourself for your contribution to what happened.
Leave it in the past.
Find the beauty in your present life.
In The BROWN Eyes of Avon, Why does Charay struggle with forgiveness? Will Desiree ever find forgiveness? Who does she have to forgive first? Will she ever find closure? The answers to those questions can be found in that novel ~ Coming soon!
The summer of 2020.
I've DECIDED....
We all have choices. I choose to be HAPPY. I choose to be HEALTHY. I choose to LOVE. I choose to be FREE...
My Vow. I've made MANY MISTAKES... The imperfect persons I am will continue. BUT, I promise to try to do better.
I vow today: If I've harmed you in any way, made you mad, didn't live up to your standards, didn't agree with you when you needed me to, disrespected you, stepped on your toes, said something hurtful or harmful, cheated you, lied to you, or did you a WRONG in any way, FORGIVE ME.
Going forth, I will try my best to be aware of the errors of my way. I ONLY ask that you do the same for me.
Love always,
~ Ms. Zipporah