When will you take care of YOU??
Have you ever heard the expression, You can't pour from an empty pitcher?
It's TRUE.
So, I'll ask the question again? When will YOU take care of YOU? Now is the time!
In my earlier blogs, we discussed self-care and mental health. I'm back! Why? To answer the question above. It starts with you.
IF you're anything like me, you have several responsibilities that need your attention. The children are not going to "raise" themselves. The food is not going to "cook" itself. The dishes are not going to "wash themselves." Work is not going to "work" itself - so to speak (Just to name a few). I/we need to be present in order to take care of the more important things.
HOW?
"How do I take care of these things when I'm not feeling like myself?" I've asked that question several times. And here are some of the answers that quickly came to mind:
If you don't do it, no one else will (or my favorite - If I don't do it, it won't get done right).
Just do it! Push yourself and get the job done. You can rest later.
This is the last time.
It will get better soon.
There's a blessing it it somewhere.
Maybe someone will see that I'm overwhelmed and help me.
REALLY? Been there done that. Can you say, "crash and burn, solo, it doesn't always work the way you want?"
I'm LEARNING somehting about this thing called life. PAY ATTENTION:
Sometimes, YOU need to pause, reset, call time out or regroup. No, is a complete sentence. Saying "no" to one thing, allows you to say, "yes" to something else.
I know what you're saying, "HOW, how, when you're not feeling like yourself or you're just too busy?"
A wise bird once shared, "If you don't lay your body down, your body will lay you down." I'm still learning boys and girls. But here's where I've improved. Notice I said, 'improved.' I'm still a work in progress - (insert a smile here). But with prayer, taking the time to be observant, smell the roses and reason, my trained conscious, and what my body is telling me, helps me to reason and make better decisions.
Yes, I've spent some time in deep thought, and I've learned a few things.
Let me tell you something -
It's AMAZING what you learn when you're alone with your thoughts. I read somewhere that a person was talking to himself and when asked, "who are you talking to?" He shared he was having a team meeting. Imagine that? I wish someone would have told me 40+ years ago that I was having a team meeting - thinking about things - out loud, and sometimes answering back. Thank you (whoever you are) for "naming" it.
In the past, I called it a process, thinking things through - Seeing what others don't see so to speak. Believe me, there were many times I wish I had listened.
Iylana Van Zant has a saying, "Call a thing a thing!"
I remember the first time I heard that expression, it resonated with me. Name it. Speak up. Talk about the things that bother you - the elephant in the room. See, I was taught that what we do is private. We don't air our dirty laundry out in the open. We "handle our business" privately. This may sound contradictory, but I'm still a fan of some aspect of that so to speak. No, you don't have to be an open book. No one needs to know know all your business. . . . However-
REAL TALK: The GARBAGE still stinks, no matter how well you wrap it!
I'm here to help you take out the trash.
Holding on to the things that bother you can fester, scar, and have detrimental effects.
It's okay to tell someone when you're hurting. It's okay to ask questions. It's okay to take time out for yourself. It's okay to ask for help. Don't ever think you're showing weakness by asking for help. The weakness is NOT asking for help. LEARN this valuable lesson NOW before it's too late.
Recently, I lost a childhood friend to suicide. It hurt! The same week, I heard about a student in college who took their own life. That hurt!
I wondered, what could I have said to my childhood friend had I known what he was feeling. What was going throught his mind during those last hours? Was there someone he could have reached out to? Could this have been prevented? Were were the warning signs?
It saddend me because I couldn't help my friend and no one could help that beautiful student who begin a new chapter of her life.
In the world where people with a "me-first" attitude are mean, distant, argumentive, opinated, self-serving, selfish, inconsiderate, and unkind, DARE to be DIFFERENT!
I noticed that September 10-14 is Suicide Prevention Week. Maybe I can't save the world, believe me I wish I could. But what I can do, is be a little more patient and little kinder, and look for ways to help those who are DEPRESSED, CRUSHED, FEELING IT, AND JUST GOING THROUGH IT.
I will offer a kind word with a smile, hold a hand, and say, "it's okay to just take care of you today!
I strive to be that person who, like Jesus (yes I'm going on my soapbox - just for a minute), "No bruised reed will he crush, and no smoldering wick will he extinguish" ~ Matthew 12:20.
Going Back to my original statement ~ You can't pour from an empty pitcher, I'd like to share a story: While attending my dear uncle's funeral, I was heading back from the gravesite. My aunt (really an older cousing respectfully called an aunt), walked beside me. I hadn't seen her for quite a few years, so what she said really gave me reason for pause.
She said, "You're sweet." I said to myself, she's just saying that because she hadn't seen me. Does she really know what's going on in my life?? With sincerity, but also to keep the conversation uplifting, I said, "You're sweet to Aunt Evette." She said, "No, you really are sweet." I pushed the envelope and asked, in my whitty voice, "Now how do you know that?" "I've been watching you," she said, "Sometimes you go to the sugar bowl, and it aint no sugar there! But you got sugar, and you are sweet!"
Talk about smiling and patting my own back on the down low ~ I just received a wonderful complement from one of my elders. What did she see? How did she know? While I strive to be kind to all, and accept her loving comment, I realized somehting, people watch you even when you think they aren't looking, a little kindness goes a long way, and last and more importantly, my sugar bowl needs to stay full!
So I ask myself the question who fills my sugar bowl? ME. How? I meditate on the Good Book and try my best to follow the golden rule. And now, I take the time to stop and replinish my sugar bowl. BELEVE ME, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT!
I'm going to my sugar bowl now, and giving out "SUGAR!" Now's the time for you to take inventory. What's in your bowl?
Maybe a cup of sugar is just what your neighbor needs right now.
Let's take care of each other.
In The Brown Eyes of Avon ~ Desiree learned that talking things out wasn't a sign of weakness. It helped her along her journey.
Love you all
~ Ms. Zipporah
Thank you all for your patience. . . It's taken me a little more time, but the edits and changes marinating with this manuscript are worth it. I promised my readers from the out set to give you my best. I'm holding myself to that promise. xoxo
