Stop Saying, "I'm Fine" (when really, you’re not).
How many times have you heard that?
Many of us use that line as a replacement for “Hello?”
I’m here to tell you…Stop saying you’re fine when you’re not!
Don’t be afraid to ask for help! “It’s easy to sit in the cheap seats and say that Ms. Zipporah"… and you’re right. But guess what?
I’m older now and somewhat wiser. I'm at the point in my life where I've learned, I don’t have to sit in the cheap seats all the time (unless I choose to, because sometimes the cheap seats aren't bad. It's a choice), and I don’t have to say,“ I’m fine,” when I’m not (that too is a choice).
So, why is it so hard to ask for help?
The simple answer: We don’t want to look weak. Someone once taught us, if we ask for help, we’ll look incompetent or weak. Is that true? Others see me as strong with “leadership qualities.” I’d like to think of myself as a strong person, mainly because I’m grounded in my faith. With age comes wisdom. That wisdom, I’m proud to say, is from the older and wiser ones who taught me well. It’s kept me out of trouble, given me coping mechanisms, helped manage stress, face situations, and conflicts with what I call stick-to-itiveness.
I couldn’t do any of this without admitting, “I need help.”
I learned in order to be a good leader, first, you must be a good follower. A strong person with leadership qualities don’t appear overnight. It starts with listening, connecting, asking questions, and getting good feedback. Humility! I don't know it all. I can't do it all. I’ve fallen short, been humbled, weakened, and kicked to the curb, for both good and bad reasons.
Les Brown, the motivational speaker once said, “When you fall, try to fall land on your back… because if you can look up, you can get up.”
That quote has been in the back of my mind for decades.
What I learned…
Asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness, it’s a strength. It shows humility (once again) and modesty. But here’s the key, you must be honest with yourself. Recognize your limits.
I still pile it on, put the weight on my shoulders so to speak, and wear my superwoman cape; But, I’ve learned when, where and how to fly, and what to fly with. The difference is now, I don’t have a problem asking someone to show me how to fly or to request that they fly with me (so to speak). That’s being “superwoman,” not superhuman. *smiles*
I read an article in Inc. by Amy Moran which spoke to my heart… “The best news is, asking for help develops the mental muscle you need to become mentally stronger. Over time, asking for help gets easier, and the more support you gain, the better equipped you’ll be to take on bigger challenges.”
How are you? Your response should be “I'm fine,” if and only if you really are FINE!
Please, ask for help. “What others think of you is none of your business.” That’s fear of man!
Joshua Hook compared saying, “I’m fine to hiding behind a mask…Acting like everything is okay to save face… Keyword acting. That’s all we’re doing. Bad acting.” Talk about a dose of reality....
I took off my mask.
Stop being afraid. Take off yours.
FEAR - Face Everything and Recover.
I believe in you. I have faith in you!
~ Ms. Zipporah